Time flies by

So I have just sat on the couch every night this week (apart from Monday) and done absolutely nothing. No blogs ; facebook only from my blackberry ; got 44 emails to read. AND I haven't lost an ounce and yet I have hardly eaten this week??? In fact I have put 2lb on. Is that the medication? Sods law just when I was getting back on track.
Medication not kicked in yet; still got butterflies and nausea. Just seem to want everything to go on around me without having to make any effort. Wonder if this is how Phil has felt for the last seven years. I am sure it is. I hate it.
Going to try and do my cards today but if I don't well I will be late with them again.
Was hoping to go away next weekend but Phil's MRI has come through for Saturday. I need to go with him; it's my life as well. Was going to go to She's for the day on Sunday instead but Phil says it is too much in one day so watch this space!!
Where is that independent strong lady of the last few years?? Worn down by fears for the future?? I guess so.
Now I realise why I am not blogging every day; its just too hard to see in black and white every single day.
Tomorrow I will wake up and want to be here?? Here's hoping ................

Moodmeter

Keep forgetting this moodmeter but to be honest today I am still ANXIOUS so getting a bit monotonous isn't it? .....................

11.56 he finally got up

I really don't know how anyone can sleep every day til nearly noon. What a waste. Did manage to get him to do a couple of tasks done though, not willingly but done anyway. Now I am going to have a relax myself. Busy week ahead again so because this Tigger has lost her bounce I will struggle. The weeks are going so quickly though and I am coping even with the struggle.
I spent three hours yesterday watching great grandaughter Chloe at her first horse show. Was I proud? She did so well. She is just 6 and so happy on a horse.
I realised that what is missing from my life is laughter. The last time I had a laugh was at Tracys when I nearly fell in her door; before that it was Frodsham with She. I need to laugh and be silly and I am not doing it. I realise that some of the negativity in my life is my own fault but there is also some that is forced upon me by certain people. What to do? Tell them? Avoid them?
I need to laugh until I cry so looking forward to spending a weekend with She on 19th. Going to Chester Zoo so I can laugh at the monkies!!!!
Work is sorted there is not a problem although I thought there was; finances are as stable as I can expect for a shopaholic; home is not where the heart is at the moment; health is erratic but am expecting improvement. So I am doing my best to tick the boxes that I can. As for the ones I can't -I will just have to be patient and trust that things will improve.
But I can smile and think of Kyle Chloe and Brooke and know how blessed I really am.................................

Sleeping "beauty"

Well it is Sunday already and Phil is still in bed. Have been up since 7 and have showered, sorted finances, dusted all the "undusted for weeks" surfaces (breaking a little angel in the process - silly me- not sentimental bought it at Mount Etna ) and now going to scan some photographs . And still managed to watch Oprah and Fern Britton. And still he sleeps..................

blog lazy

have just noticed my last post was Monday. Think that is a sign of how I feel. My morning posts are heavier than evening ones so assessing my mood through the day is not easy. Todays moodmeter at 7am is ANXIOUS.....................

SUPERGRAN

I used to think I was superwoman. Now I am more like supergran!
Not coping with much just now and its all closing in. Someone put the light out at the end of the tunnel and I was relying on that.
Work is not as great as it was; finances seem to have imploded; health and energy level is crap; Phil is still surprising me with more problems.
So thats the way it is. What to do? As usual head down and get on with it. Can deal with work; finances will sort themselves out by next week; am trying to get help with health and energy so that just leaves Phil. That is ongoing.....................

Moodmeter

Bit fed up.................

Moodmeter

Forgot the mood meter today- NAUSEOUS ................is that a mood?? maybe not..........

Weather determining my mood

Got up at 6.30 had breakfast watched a bit of news and then went back to bed til 10. Why? Because I could!!!
Have since sorted lots of stuff in my craft room; loads of things for the charity shop; uploaded some picks; shredded some docs and now have to face the budget!!! AAAAAAAArrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhh. Won the lottery last week £10 and again last night £10. I'm not ungrateful folks but can you do a little better next time please. They are obviously not concentrating enough.
Phil said he was going to get up early today because I was at home. ?????11.45!!!
Oh of course the derby match is on silly me- thought he wanted to help me with some jobs.
Have told him I have a couple of things for him to do after the match- we will see. Was thinking of asking for help from kids yesterday but put it off yet again. Phil is NOT incapapable of doing these things he just doesn't!!!!!
Still suffering with horrible nausea; its either the new tabs or still the gastritis not cleared. Have chased my check up up!!!
Supposed to be going out tomorrow night for a Christmas meal but really want to cancel; but I have missed these folks who I am going with so I probably will go. Just not feeling sociable I guess ...........................

Successful

The scrapbook went down well and I was satisfied to hand it over. Because this is the second one for the same person I received some vouchers for Holland Arms craft shop. Really didn't want anything as I enjoyed doing it but I know I can have a nice spend too. I have a little list of stuff I NEED.....................

Nausea

Feel a bit sick this morning - could be the new medication. Have a lot to do today so just have to work through it. Hoping to finish and deliver the scrapbook ( and be happy with it) ; clear more clutter in my craft room; do December budget; and then get out my papers for dissertation tomorrow. Why don't I just have a weekend to sit and watch TV or stay in bed?? One day maybe..............................
mood meter-ANXIOUS..............................

Moodmeter

Need a moodmeter for the next few weeks. Might just add to sidebar. Todays mood INDIFFERENT. Think it will be just one word per day knowing me................

Teething problems

Almost finished the scrapbook for Nicola. Have realised however that although I love the new desk my room is much too crowded. Having to limbo far too much and no surfaces to put things on one side. So once I have finished the book tomorrow the next task (after I have done my budget) is to clear some space in the room. Think I will need to put some of my lovely tools in drawers out of the way. That will free up one full table so it makes sense.
Once again I have enjoyed doing the book . I have more confidence in this one because I was given dates and information with the photographs. That means I have scrapped them in sequence; always helpful.
Next I have Poppy's book to do then Gwawr's then a CJ for January. Still finding it so relaxing but not enought time. Need to make some Christmas cards for work too.
Have got Sunday free this week so intend to do 500 words minimum on my dissertation and spend some time crafting.
Phil will get up at noon as usual so I will have loads done by then anyway.
Need to load his car with charity stuff to clear the bedroom so I can get to clean around the windows.
Hopefully I will achieve all this and more ......................................