Sunday 4 July 2010

4th July 1984

Today is 4th July, Independence Day. It is also 26 years since my Mum died.

She was only 61- my age now; far too young to go.

My Mum was funny, brave, wonderful,wise, and I still miss her every day. I adored her; still do and she adored me. She was always so proud of me and used to sing my praises from the rooftops; even when I didn't think I deserved it.

When she died my voice of reason was taken from me. I became the mother figure in the family and at 35 I was not ready for that. She did however give me the ability to work things out. Not every decision she made in her life was the right one but she was able to admit that just like I do. She was able to treat every problem as a challenge (and she had many of those particularly after Dad died in 1977) and tried to reason it through.

I don't know how I have survived without her this long. I have needed her so many times since she left. I speak to her and think of her every day but as so many of my clients say "just five minutes to hold her" would be so wonderful.

My children have such lovely memories especially Julie who spent a lot of time with her. We laugh when we remember things she said and did.

She was a very brave lady who dealt with Cancer in the most diginified way I have ever witnessed. She made everything as easy as she could for us to deal with and brought laughter until the end. I have her things all around me and today I may weep but I will also laugh.
Love you and miss you so so much my darling Mum xxxx

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