Monday, 6 September 2010

Forward looking

Ok so the wedding is over and the happy couple are now away on their honeymoon. The photos will be drifting in and the day will be added to the list of memories.

Real life- back to work; the weather is rough and the rest of the month is busy. Just how I like it.

I have also decided once and for all to close my blog. I will pop by and see others but mine has become redundant now. If I find it boring how can I expect others to follow it. And I may be taking a different journey and am not sure if it will be worth sharing.

So for the last time - signing out and thanks to those who have encouraged me when I have needed it....................................

Sunday, 5 September 2010

Wonderful wedding

The bride and groom looked wonderful and the way they looked at each other warms my heart.
It was great to see family too that I have not been able to visit for some time and my friends as always are a source of comfort to me.

As for Phil- he acted as I expected. Why am I not surprised? It's a shame my favourite Uncle witnessed the real life I have. He cares deeply for me and I could tell he was concerned. I must spend more time with him.

That is another event over and I move on to the next. The next batch are solo events; not family gatherings so I can just consider myself.

I am in the position again where I have to make decisions. Oh how I wish I had a crystal ball. If I could do what I really wanted (which practically is not an option) so many people would be rocked by the fallout. So I just pray for a sign telling what to do. I have faith that it will come to me and just need the courage to act when I see it.

In the meantime..........
I sit and wonder why I looked like the bad guy last night??..........

Friday, 3 September 2010

One more sleep

It's Phil's birthday and it is very low key because of the wedding. In 1969 my dad has his birthday the day before my wedding- life is full of coincidences.
The kids are coming over with a "chinese" later. That will be fun; we are all hyper at the moment so it will be interesting to see who can get a word in. We all tend to talk too much when we are nervous!!! Runs in the family!!

Phil hasn't been mentioned much in my blog lately. It is a period of change and I feel quite sad some days. I have fought so hard to get his medication balanced and now that he is more "aware" there are parts that I don't like. Is it because I am wishing for something that cannot be or is it I just want our lives to be the best they can under the circumstances.

Mild aggression has returned usually after a bottle of wine which he manages to demolish in about an hour. I can cope with that the way I did before the accident. The part that I struggle with is him being argumentative and insisting that I have not told him things that I definitely have.
I hate confrontation and yet my silence only winds him up more.

I really hope he is ok tomorrow at the wedding.........................

Thursday, 2 September 2010

Countdown to the wedding

I can feel emotions rising - heaven help me on Saturday. Julie and I just wish my Mum could be there; I am so blessed to be around to go to my Grand daughters wedding. The tension is around us but I know on the day it will be fine.
I think Julie and Ste have done Leanne proud and I am so grateful to them. She is having everything she has asked for - and more!!
All the beauty stuff is booked tomorrow- eyebrows eyelashes nails etc and I do hope the lorry of flesh coloured polyfilla arrives in time. I hope Phil is going to be able to strap me into my corset!!
Looks like the weather is going to be kind to us and I am sure it will be a wonderful day.
I adore my kids and their kids and their kids. How blessed am I?

Oh and it is Phil's birthday tomorrow and I must try not to forget..................