Monday, 30 August 2010

Taking a break

Just having a little break from doing my dissertation.
Wish I could type faster and wish I had a book holder that would keep the book open but raised to save the crick in my neck!!

Apart from that I am enjoying it. I still feel a bit "off" but after discussions with friends yesterday I think I gave myself a sugar overload on Friday and once that is out of my system I will be ok. My diet is so erratic that I really must address that once all the "pending" stuff is over.

The next hurdle is the wedding. I am excited and apprehensive at the same time. I know that there are issues for concern but I really just want to go and feel the proudest Nannie in the world. I have two children each with partners three grandchildren two with partners one step-grandson and two great grandchildren and one on the way..............

If Phil behaves himself it has the makings of a perfect day. But like I said I am excited and apprehensive. Will let you know which was justified...............

Saturday, 28 August 2010

Who is this following my life ???????

Again today my stars are just so accurate to the point that I think I have a personal predicter and this is JUST for me and nobody else??

Hello trish !
Your Sun Sign: Leo
Date of birth: 15 August 1948

Your daily horoscope for 28 August 2010

Your physical vitality is at low ebb, and you should make sure to avoid exposure to any sort of illness or disease, trish. Steer clear of toxic substances of any kind that might add even more stress to your immune system. It may be hard for you to take a realistic attitude on these types of issues. You are good at creating a delusional frame of mind that convinces you that everything is fine, when in reality, it isn't. There is a stubborn energy in the air that is making it hard for you to change your ways.

I had a hair appointment at 8am today and really struggled to get myself ready for it. I have been up since 7am so it is not the rising , more the getting ready that is the problem. Last night I felt as if my body weighed a ton; a strange and very uncomfortable feeling. I can't put my finger on it but I don't feel "right".

Right now I think I could sleep but I know if I tried I would just lie and think.......of everything and of nothing. In most areas my life is smoother than for some time. I am not unhappy but there is just something ....................

Friday, 27 August 2010

Working through

I have said before in my blog that I wake up each morning and wonder if I will get through the day ok. This is on an energy level not on a capability level.

This last year has been one of my hardest years and my energy levels have been at their lowest.

So far I am getting through and only call off those outings that will not inconvenience others.

Yesterday I thought I was going to have to do a ten page presentation in front of my Committee. I have argued against this for some time as I am not an "I" person ; more of a "we" person. Anyway yesterday was the day and only 6 members were in attendance at the meeting instead of 12 ( due to holidays). I gave the members the choice of me doing the presentation or them taking it home and reading it. Thankfully they chose the latter but I was given the opportunity to talk in general about my role.

As far as I can see I have the full backing of the Committee and can carry on as before. My colleague had her hours cut by half so I guess I am lucky. We are a Charity so I know my salary will not increase but you all know how much I love my job so that is not an issue right now.

So another successful day to tick off the challenge list.

Next is the wedding on 4th and all I have to do is get there feel good and enjoy myself. I am anxious because like all weddings a couple of things have gone wrong so far; the bride has to have her dress altered; the cake maker has broken two fingers?? and the photographer has called off due to work commitments. I am sure that it will all come together but because I am standing back and not "doing" any of the organising I worry about Julie getting stressed too.

As they say it will all be allright on the night or in this case on the day. I just hope my waterproof mascara works ok...............................

Wednesday, 25 August 2010

More medical confusion

I got an appointment to see the ENT guy on 1st September. One problem; I need to have a scan and a biopsy before then and I don't have an appointment for that. I phoned the department and was told there is am 8 wk waiting list for ultrasound; that takes me to around 15th Sept. So I have changed the appointment from 1st to 22nd. Will I be lucky and will it all fit in??
In the meantime my voice is getting lower; one cyst is obviously pressing more on my vocal cords and the shortage of breath I presume is where the other cyst is leaning on the windpipe. The joys of ageing!!

Right now my mind is full of presentation wedding dissertation in that order.

Tomorrow I have to do the presentation which was postponed. I am really not good at saying what I do; good at doing it but in a quiet - get on with it- way.
I have compiled a 10 page description of my role and as much as I tried to condense it 10 pages is what it takes!!

The wedding is on 4th and I still have no idea what I will be wearing. This weekend I will get my hair done as usual ( my weekly indulgence) and then come home and try all the outfits on which are possibilities. Then on the morning of the wedding I will probably change my mind!! I have enough choices so am not too concerned.

My dissertation should technically be submitted by the end of September. I am more than half way and the questionnaires are on their way to completion. It is like being a good way through a jigsaw and then just seeing a load of shapes the same size and colour and not having a clue where to put them. I really enjoy doing it but am so nervous of the final construction process.

Phil is being sweet at the moment and I can't remember the last time I was impatient with him. He is off all the tranqillisers (still on anti- depressants but wants to try and reduce those next)and so he is more aware of what is going on around him. Not quite the Phil I married but nicer than he has been for some time in the last eight years. Or maybe I have just stopped fighting??
Anyway at the moment home is ok and I feel good here.

It is my crop on Sunday and that is a part of my life that needs sorting once all of the above is complete. I am really not doing enough crafting. Once a month is just not enough and I need to arrange more.

Today I am attending the lunch with my lovely ladies (The Merry Widows) and we always have a wonderful time. They are the ones who reassure me when I think my job is too difficult and make me realise that their futures are my responsibility.....

Friday, 20 August 2010

Nice photo

Elaine has just sent me this. I was complaining about hating my looks and she said how lovely she thought I looked at Tracey and Dave's wedding. I like this and it has helped me just a little to see that I can look quite good sometimes.
I had a photos recently which made me look like SHREK so I am glad to see that I don't always look like that.
Still wondering what to wear for the wedding but this gives me a little bit of confidence to even consider a plain suit. I am getting my pink renewed tonight so that is stage one.
Counting down the days now to 4th September............................

Sunday, 15 August 2010

I made it!!

Today is my 62nd birthday. My Mum and Dad did not have a 62nd birthday. I am so relieved to get here..........................