Both a little anxious

Well the day is here. We are going to see Prof Bob Rafael at the brain unit today to get the results of Phil's recent MRI scan. I have been fighting since Sept 2008 to get someone to notice that Phil is getting worse. Eventually October 2009 they agreed to do an MRI. This happened on 19th December and today we will get the results.

To say the whole process has been exhausting is an understatement.
Those who know me will have been on my recent journey with me and I can't thank them enough for their support. My emotions have been scary at worst and .... don't think there has been a best!

Phil has just gone along with everything in his normal erratic way but last night he was quiet annd admitted that he was nervous.
Can't imagine what would happen to him if I hadn't fought for this. I lost the old Phil August 2002 but sort of adapted to the new Phil for better for worse again.

When he started to deteriorate though I had two choices; to leave or to stay and try and improve the situation. Neither was easy so I chose my heart path.
There are still so many days when I just don't want to come home from work; when I wonder what the evening will be like. Weekends are scary; they are so long and if they start off badly then they don't normally improve. Some are good like this last weekend.
I would never call any of them great though because whatever they are like I have to put so much effort into them that I am tired out.

Again those people who know me are aware of my puppy dog syndrome. I have tried to get treatment for it but think it will always be there. Ever hopeful that's me.
So today I am not going to plan in my mind how it will go I will just be there for Phil and try and make sure he understands exactly what Bob tells us.
Then when we get home I will try to get my own head around it and decide which way to go.
Please wish us luck .....................................